


Care to Die For

by severallifetimesago



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Study, Gen, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 16:23:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6016342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/severallifetimesago/pseuds/severallifetimesago
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite what Sam may say, Dean thinks the world of his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Care to Die For

**Author's Note:**

> Short character study of Dean Winchester. These are often my favorite flavors of fic to read, and I hope I’ve done them justice. Written to Rainbow Kitten Surprise’s _Devil Like Me_.

Dean can’t articulate his surprise. His little brother, the boy who gives everyone a chance to prove themselves, is Lucifer’s vessel? The chubby baby with big hazel eyes who reached for him every time he cried? The kid he’s spent his whole life protecting?

Dean had always felt like hell when he wished he’d been born in a different life. He’s lucky to have a brother who loves him, to have had a dad that loved his mom so much. But Dean’s never been one for optimism.

Once, when Sam was nine, he’d wanted to know why they didn’t have an address or a single phone number. Dean didn’t tell him, ‘cause how do you tell a kid the monsters under his bed are real? Since Mom died, Dean spent every waking moment watching his back, shaken. Dean wouldn’t be the one to give Sammy that same feeling.

Sam had sworn he’d hated Dean, had cried and screamed for answers. And right then, Dean wanted to tell him out of spite. He wanted to scare him just to shut him up. He wanted to show Sam that it wasn’t fair that Dean had to be the intermediate between his brother and his father. It wasn’t fair that he had the memories of their mom, the knowledge of the evil that walked the earth (evil that they actively sought out), and the responsibility of protecting another human being. 

Dean still hates himself for thinking that. 

Dean can’t believe that his brother is Satan’s meat suit because he’s not bad. Sammy’s spent his whole life caring about people. Understanding them, protecting them – doing far more good than Dean can pretend he does. Hunting isn’t always the be-all and end-all of saving people, no matter what the eldest Winchester insists. He sees the happiness that Sam creates in the world. He’s burdened with so much, but continues to weigh himself down by taking away other people’s grief.

He’s selfless and kind and sympathetic and the opposite of Dean, and somehow exactly the type of man their father intended them to be, even with how hard he fought against him.  


Dean knows his own worth, how he’d gotten a thrill out of hell, and how he saves people purely out of selfish pride. But if there’s one thing about him that’s still pure, it’s his love for his brother. 

Despite what Sam may say, Dean thinks the world of his brother.

Every time he looks at the shaggy, dorky giant, he’s transported back to the weeks they spent together holed up in motel rooms, eating pizza and peanut butter sandwiches. He witnessed Sammy’s first steps and heard his first word ( _book_ – yeah, he’s always been a huge nerd). When Sam is upset, Dean is there, even if he’s unable to fix it. He cried the day Sam left for Stanford, though he’ll never admit it. He’s watched his little brother grow up, and would like to think he played a part in building the man he’s become.

_Protect Sammy_. Dean’s never resented that, only how hard it seems to be. Dean hopes that last good part of him can keep Sam out of harm’s way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
